Dear Family and Friends,
We are so eager to be home and to celebrate with so many of you! We have had some friends and family ask about meeting us at the airport, and we would genuinely love for each of you to be there as we arrive home with the newest member of our little family! We were able to get his visa easily, so we will be coming home Saturday! We will leave Seoul at 10:30 am on Saturday and we will arrive home early evening (we think around 5:30 maybe?...will keep you all posted...) at the Birmingham Airport. You have all been a vital part of Jack Cruz's homecoming - through your prayers and support. And we would be honored to have you all there waiting to welcome him home!
While we are excited to head home with the boys and everything that is familiar, sweet Jack Cruz has no idea what is about to happen. He is leaving behind everything he has ever known by coming home with us on Saturday. All of the sights, smells, sounds, language, and people in his new home will be foreign to him. And he will have lost so much. Justin and I want to do our best to make Jack Cruz feel secure, safe, and attached to us during this scary time of transition for him, which goes well beyond our arrival at the airport.
We are beyond excited for so many of you to meet Jack Cruz. He is an amazing little guy. But there are a few things we want to mention. Jack Cruz is not fully aware that we are his forever family. We have to be very intentional in our bonding and attachment so that he learns that Justin and I are his mommy and daddy, and that he will stay with us forever. In our short time with him, we have learned that he is a very outgoing, energetic little boy, (his nickname from the Holt ladies is PowerMan!! Ha!) but his whole world has recently been turned upside down, and he is very confused, nervous, and has epic grieving episodes each day and night. Justin and I want to make sure he learns that WE are his parents and we are his safe people. We are the ones he should come to to have ALL his needs/wants met. Therefore, as we arrive home, we really just want to be mindful of this, especially in these initial days of him learning his new life with us. Just know that he will need some time to learn who his parents are and our role in his life before we start introducing other family members and friends. You can see how he could become easily confused, as just a few weeks ago, we were also just some fun people who played with and hugged him. We would like to ask that he not be touched, picked up or carried away from us. But lots of smiles, waves, and high fives are certainly welcome! :) We don’t say these things to sound harsh or dramatic, but more as a way to prepare everyone for what we think will be best for our little guy and his transition into his new family.
Once we leave the airport and take him home, we will be staying pretty low key for several weeks as we introduce Jack Cruz to his new home and learn more about each other. He has a lot to figure out (as do we all!), and we just want to keep things as simple as possible for him. We will slowly start to venture out and invite family and friends to visit as we feel he is ready.
Everything we've read and researched has stressed this over and over for a healthy attachment. We need him to learn that we are his parents. He will still be looking for his foster mommy and daddy that he lost, and he could become overwhelmed very easily, despite his outgoing personality. We need him to learn that we are mommy and daddy, and that we will be the one to meet his needs. So, when the first visits happen, please remember that signs of affection need to just be from us. We need to be the only ones to hug and kiss him, feed him, change him, comfort him, put him to sleep, etc. Again, this is just to help him learn that we are mom and dad. And remember, these things are only temporary. Hugs and love will come when Justin and I feel he is ready.
Thank you in advance for your understanding and respect of how important these next few weeks/months are for our family. We want to start off doing what is best for Jack Cruz even though parts may be difficult or seem unnatural. We look forward to continuing to share life with all of you! There are no words to sufficiently thank you all for joining us on this journey and covering us in prayer, and we would love to see many of you there to welcome him home at the airport! FinallyFOURever!!!!
Love, The Murphree's